The Hiccups
by ILoveCheetos but IAMTIMELESS
Summary: When Hamilton gets a stubborn case of the hiccups, it's up to his friends (And someone else unexpected) to help him get rid of it.


**This is once again written by AteIsa. Honestly, she's almost taking over this part of my account. **

**A/N: LOL so, this is what happens when a Hamfan who watched a video on hiccups recently gets bored. That's all I need to say. What more is there to say, anyway? XD**

* * *

Alexander Hamilton held his breath desperately, ignoring the screaming in his lungs, but to no avail.

Another high-pitched squeak erupted from his tightly closed lips, forcing them open. He groaned, slumping his head against his chair, irritated.

"Alexander?" Lafayette suddenly entered their tent.

Hamilton gasped, startled, then hiccuped again. He clamped his hand over his mouth as he shot a glare at his French friend.

Lafayette's eyes went wide with amusement, then he laughed. "You have the hiccups?" He asked, stepping forward. He seemed to think it highly amusing to watch Hamilton hiccup under his hand repeatedly.

Alexander glared and lowered his hand. "No I do not—Hic!" He hiccuped again. He clenched his fist onto his shirt and muttered. "They refuse to—Hic!—go away." He glared as Lafayette stifled another giggle.

"Maybe I could be of some assistance?" Lafayette asked, taking Hamilton's cup from the table.

"No—Hic!—Thank you." Hamilton grumbled.

Lafayette shrugged. "Alright, then." He turned to go out of the tent.

Several more hiccups forced their way out of Hamilton's mouth, causing him to gasp for a regular breath desperately. He groaned, and another of that peculiar squeaking noises escaped his lips yet again. "Hic!—Wait!" Hamilton cried, standing.

Lafayette was already out of the tent, but Alexander could see his shadow pause in the moonlight. Then his shadow walked a little farther off.

Hamilton hiccup-sighed. He flopped down onto his cot with a loud creak and swore at his pillow.

The crunching of boots against soil sounded behind him, then someone nudged his shoulder. Hamilton groaned and pulled the pillow over his head. Almost immediately, he felt water trickle onto his back, seeping through his tunic and onto his back. Hamilton sat up, causing the pillow to fly onto John Laurens' cot on the other side of the tent. "Son of a—Hic!" Hamilton swore.

Lafayette was giggling silently. "My apologies, Mon ami." He held the cup—which was now filled with water—out to him.

"What am I—Hic!—supposed to do with this?" Hamilton muttered, taking it in both of his hands.

"Drink it." Lafayette replied simply. "And hold your nose. The point is for you not to breathe."

"But I—Hic!—already tried to hold my breath." Hamilton muttered, glaring at the water sloshing around in his cup.

"_S'il vous plaît le faire_." Lafayette replied exasperatedly.

Hamilton rolled his eyes, but did as he was told.

Pinching his nose, he tilted his head back and drained the entire contents of the cup, watching the water disappear into his mouth.

Lowering the cup, Hamilton sighed in satisfaction, until—

"Hic!" Hamilton squeaked. He glared at Lafayette. "It—Hic!—didn't work."

Lafayette was furrowing his eyebrows now, thinking. "Strange," He muttered, taking the glass from Hamilton and putting it back into the table. "That usually works for me."

Alexander scoffed, and mid-way through it, he hiccuped again.

"Was that a hiccup I heard?"

John Laurens entered the tent, smirking at Hamilton's irritated and annoyed face.

"Alexander has the hiccups." Lafayette explained, his left knee buckling underneath him. Hamilton had kicked him on the underside of his leg, but he just ignored him as he continued, "I already tried getting him to drink a glass of water with his nose covered."

"I'm assuming it didn't work?" Laurens concluded, raising an amused eyebrow as Hamilton began to hiccup furiously.

"Obvious—Hic!—ly," Hamilton scowled.

Laurens scratched his head thoughtfully. "I usually drink water as well, but I do have an alternative if that doesn't work."

"I didn't ask for—Hic!" Hamilton murmured.

Laurens shrugged, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Do you really want to spend the whole night like this?"

Hamilton frowned at him. He hiccuped again. Gritting his teeth, he grumbled, "What do you—Hic!—suggest I do next, then?"

Laurens smirked triumphantly. "Come," Was all he said. He gestured with his hand to the exit flap of the tent, and, grumpily, Hamilton stood and went out, Lafayette following behind.

Once they were outside of camp, Hamilton asked, "Why are we—Hic!—here?" He gazed around at the dark forest surrounding their camp skeptically.

"I was expecting you wouldn't do what I asked if people were watching, so I thought some privacy would be best."

Hamilton narrowed his eyes at his friend. "What do you—Hic!—mean?"

Laurens broke into a grin. "I need you to do a handstand."

"Hic!—What?"

"Do a handstand. That's what I do when holding my breath or drinking a glass of water don't work." The corners of Laurens' mouth twitched.

Hamilton glared. "And does it—Hic!—work for you?" He grumbled skeptically.

"Yes. If it didn't, I wouldn't be making you do this, now would I?"

Hamilton sighed. He really had no other choice.

He stretched his arms high above his head, then, gritting his teeth, keeled forward. He felt the world turn upside down, and he soon felt the cold earth some in contact with the palms of his hands. He wobbled a little in the air, and he saw an upside-down Laurens and Lafayette hurrying forward to steady him.

He felt sweat coming into an alarming distance with his eyes. "Now—Hic!—what?" He hiccuped, his voice strained.

"You wait. This usually takes about a few minutes." Laurens replied, bending down so he could see Hamilton's face clearly.

And so Hamilton held himself as still as he could possibly stay, forcing himself not to feel ridiculous. He grimaced as he forced his legs to stay balanced, hiccuping all the way. Laurens and Lafayette were exchanging looks everytime he did so.

Hamilton could feel his arms weakening under his weight, and a bead of sweat dripped into his eye, causing it to sting, but he refused to let himself fall. Not yet, at least.

Suddenly, his hands began to vibrate as the thundering sounds of hooves galloped up behind him. Laurens' and Lafayette's eyes widened, and they immediately snapped to attention, raising their arms simultaneously in a salute.

Hamilton swallowed, wondering if he should let himself down so he could salute as well, but he felt like it would be too much of a waste of his hard work, and so he stayed as he was.

"What are you three.. Doing?" Washington asked, sounding wholly bewildered and slightly amused. Hamilton could hear the thud of boot against soil as Washington dismounted from his horse. He silently hiccuped again.

Hamilton could clearly see Laurens and Lafayette bite their lips in a desperate bid keep themselves from snickering. A light giggle escaped Lafayette's lips, nonetheless, and Laurens swallowed, desperate to restrain his mirth as he explained in a strained voice, "Hamilton has the hiccups, Sir."

There was a pause from behind him as the General stared at Hamilton's ridiculously wobbly form.

"And why is he doing a handstand, may I ask?" Hamilton could hear the chuckle behind his words, and he scowled as he saw his friends lightly snicker in response.

"It was—Hic!—Laurens' idea, if I may, your—Hic!—Excellency." Hamilton fumed, glaring at the said man, who was now starting to giggle.

Washington hummed, like he was thinking. Hamilton tried his best not to squirm, desperately trying to stay balanced. He hiccuped again, and he felt his legs wobble with the slight jerk it caused.

"And it has not worked yet, I presume?" Washington sounded like he wanted to laugh.

"No, sir." The two of his friends chorused, amidst another hiccup fit from Hamilton.

Washington paused again, then said, "Stand up properly, Hamilton."

Gratefully, Hamilton swung his legs backward. His feet, which he had intended to use to catch himself so he would stand immediately, slipped out from under him, causing him to fall flat on his back. He grimaced, and he felt Laurens and Lafayette pull him up immediately. He hiccup-growled at them, pulling his arms away.

Washington's expression was strained, like he was restraining his laughter as well. But the moment Hamilton stood properly again, he smoothed his features out again to say, "Follow me."

They did, albeit Hamilton, who was wobbly as he stumbled forward dizzily, was a little farther behind as they trudged into the dark forest ahead.

As they silently marched forward, Hamilton couldn't help but ask, "What are we—Hic!—doing here, exactly, Sir?"

Washington didn't turn back to face him as he whispered. "The Fiends."

"The.. What?" Lafayette repeated. The tone of the General's voice made him look warily about them.

"The Fiends are the creatures that infest this forest, and have been infesting them for centuries." Washington stepped over a fallen branch, then turned to face them. His face was deadly serious. "They were once human, like you and me, except they refused to be governed by the laws of man and God."

"So... What happened to them?" Laurens asked, taking a few steps closer to the General, as if he was frightened that the Fiends would come up and jump out at them at any moment.

"They changed. Physically and mentally. People say that their fingers somehow contorted themselves into claws, and their skin turned extremely pale, and their eyes turned pink." Washington was looking around the forest now, his voice barely above a whisper.

Hamilton, Laurens, and Lafayette shuddered. Though they tried not to show it, they all looked quite terrified.

"And," Washington added, unaware of the three's terrified expressions, "Some say they've become so evil that they have some sort of beam of darkness around their heads—a converted halo."

"That's—Hic!—P-possible?" Hamilton stammered.

"I don't know. Those who went looking for the Fiends never returned."

Laurens, Lafayette, and Hamilton all stopped in their tracks, staring at the General in shock and a strengthened fear.

"Then why, may I ask," Laurens hissed, his voice trembling slightly, "Are we looking for them ourselves?"

The General stopped, turning to the three with a regretful expression on his face. "I.. Didn't want to put anyone else at risk, but I knew I couldn't get rid of them alone."

He gazed at them silently for a moment, then added, "That's why I asked you here. I needed you to help me with this almost entirely impossible task."

At the exact same time, Laurens, Hamilton, and Lafayette's faces all went extremely pale.

Washington looked at the pale moonlight filtering through the trees, then took a deep breath. He turned back to the three and grabbed Hamilton's arm. "We need you as bait."

"Wait—Hic!—why m-me?!" Hamilton stuttered, taking a step back.

"Because you have the hiccups. You could give us away. Laurens, Lafayette and I will hide in the bushes. The moment the Fiends come out, we will attack."

Hamilton stared at the General with wide eyes, his face completely pale. He stared at Laurens and Lafayette, who looked horrified at what the General was saying and what he was making him do.

"You have to trust me, Alexander." Washington whispered desperately.

Hamilton turned back to him, then, taking a deep breath, nodded slowly. "Let's—Hic!—do this."

Washington smiled at Hamilton, clapping him on the shoulder. Laurens and Lafayette stared at each other, then both simultaneously clapped Hamilton affectionately on the back.

"Don't die." Laurens whispered, taking a few steps back into the bushes.

"Stay alive, Mon ami." Lafayette agreed, following him and Washington and ducking behind another nearby bush.

Soon, they were all obscured entirely in the dark leaves, and Hamilton was utterly alone.

Hamilton trembled as he stared at the dark shadows the moonlight created. He felt the darkness closing in on him, like death waiting to pounce. He jumped every time a bush would rustle, or a leaf would fall. He hiccuped, then clamped his hands over his mouth desperately. _Oh, why do I have to have the hiccups now?_ He thought, staring wistfully at the bush the General and his friends were hiding in.

Just then, he heard an unearthly shriek peirce the air. It was one of the most horrifying shrieks Hamilton had ever heard, and it took him a moment to realize that it was—no. It couldn't be—

"SIR!" Laurens and Lafayette screamed, their voices hoarse. They were panting heavily, but Hamilton could not see them. Then the terrible realization dawned on him like a brick to the head.

The Fiends got to them first.

Hamilton stood there, unsure what to do, until he suddenly heard another terrified and garbled shriek, the owner's voice rattling unnaturally: _Lafayette_.

Hamilton shook his head. _No, this couldn't be happening, it just couldn't.._

"LAFAYETTE!" Laurens' voice cried, a sob choking his voice. "Stay BACK!" He demanded fiercely, his voice trembling.

Hamilton couldn't take it anymore. He took a step forward, desperate to help, but he stumbled as his ankle caught on something. He looked down in alarm, and saw, to his horror and dismay, a rope, which was tied tightly around it. He tugged on it desperately, to no avail. _No, no, no!_ Hamilton thought angrily, tugging again.

But it was too late.

Laurens screamed a long, terrified, and pain-filled shriek, his voice choking and cracking and shuddering in the night air. Hamilton paled and collapsed onto his knees, grief overwhelming him. He thought it couldn't get any worse.

Then he realized he shouldn't have thought that.

At that very moment, evil, disgusting cackles reverberated around the night air. The Fiends. They were laughing. They were _laughing that his friends had just died!_

Hamilton scowled fiercely, then shut his mouth, realizing that if he did anything rash, he would be done for.

A rustling in the bushes and a slither of bare feet sounded around him. Hamilton blanched as he heard them coming.

His heart pounded hard in his chest, like it was screaming to get out. Sweat dripped down his face as he looked about him, trying to find where they were coming from. From the sounds of it, they were getting closer, closer—

Then a hoarse voice spoke in his ear. "Hello, Alexander."

Then the creature jabbed at him sharply in the elbow.

Hamilton screamed, terrified and desperate, begging anyone, anything to get him out of this, but it seemed nobody could hear, and the cackling around him grew as he clutched at his elbow as it tingled unnaturally.

But.. Something was not right. The tingling in his elbow was.. Starting to fade, and as he realized this, he heard that the cackling around him had been replaced with.. Laughter?

He looked up, and out of the bushes came Laurens, Lafayette, and Washington, all of them grinning at him. They were all barefoot, but unscathed and.. Completely fine.

Laurens was snickering again. "You should have seen your face. Priceless!"

Lafayette was giggling, and Washington was chuckling at his terrified expression.

Hamilton gaped dumbly at them, his mouth wide open. Snapping out of it, he scowled. "This— this was just a prank?"

Washington shook his head, still trying to regain control of his laughter. "Not exactly."

Laurens and Lafayette reached forward to pull Hamilton back to his feet, and Hamilton scowled, but allowed them to help him. He felt extremely ridiculous and embarrassed now. He should have known that the General's story seemed a bit far-fetched.

Washington was cocking his head, as if listening for something. The three joined in listening, until Hamilton finally asked, "What are we listening for?"

"You can't hear it?" Lafayette asked, grinning at him triumphantly.

"No. All I can hear is our breathing."

Laurens pumped his fist triumphantly. "It worked!"

Lafayette and Laurens gave each other a high-five, and Washington said, "I told you it would."

"Told you _what_ would?" Hamilton asked impatiently, stomping his trapped ankle.

Lafayette smirked at him. "Your hiccups—they are gone."

Hamilton stopped. He was right.

"But how—?"

"We gave you a scare, did we not?" Giggled Laurens, taking a step back to avoid Hamilton's attempt to slap him.

"That's usually the last resort of getting rid of hiccups." Washington chuckled. "It's worked on me and my wife without fail for years."

"You scare each other?" Hamilton asked, barely containing a giggle. Laurens and Lafayette snickered silently as well when they heard that.

Washington raised a brow. "Do you honestly think my wife and I are immune to that sort of—Hic!" His eyes widened, and he immediately clamped his hand down over his mouth as another hiccup made its wait there.

Hamilton, Laurens, and Lafayette all gaped at him. That is, until, Laurens followed almost immediately, his mouth bursting a hiccup loudly. And almost instantly afterwards, Lafayette's mouth sqeaked out a high-pitched hiccup.

Hamilton gaped at them. "Wow. Looks like I'm going to have to help you get rid of _your_ hiccups now." He cracked his knuckles. "I think I have some ideas." His eyes glinted cheekily.

Washington, Laurens, and Lafayette glanced at each other, a grimace written all over their faces. "Oh,—Hic!—great."


End file.
